


Banged Up in Jail

by TardisTexan



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Flirting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-26
Updated: 2014-04-26
Packaged: 2018-01-20 19:40:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1523171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TardisTexan/pseuds/TardisTexan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This time it's the Doctor on the wrong side of the bars and no one knows how to plan a prison break better than his wife.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Banged Up in Jail

The Doctor laid on the cot in his cell and stared at the ceiling.  He was in a jail cell on the planet Ruleski.  He had gone over everything in his mind, twice, and couldn’t figure out how he was going to get out the cell.  If he had gotten a trial he could have talked his way out of a conviction, he was sure of it, but the head of the smuggling ring he had uncovered just happened to also be the highest military ranking officer in the territory.   And the Doctor had somehow offended him, totally by accident of course, and so the officer was being particularly harsh to him.  He wasn’t sure what he had done that was so offensive, but Ruleski civilization was just too easily offended. They shouldn't be so darn touchy. 

So, here he was in a very heavily guarded military prison with a 120 year sentence ahead of him.  He wasn’t even exactly sure what the charge had been that put him there.  The officer didn’t want his smuggling ring exposed so he must have made up quite a story to get the Doctor put away for so long without a trial. He could deal with a 120 year prison sentence, but Rory and Amy were on the planet with him so he needed to get out.  He started to go over his options again when he heard a familiar laugh at the end of the corridor.  

He knew that laugh.  That was River’s “You will give me everything I ask for and enjoy doing it” laugh.  He eagerly got up and went to the bars and looked out.  He could just see her cloud of curls and a flash of red.  He was instantly elated to see her, but oh no, this was not good. This was very embarrassing and River would ridicule him for at least double the time of the sentence. He swore in Gallifreyan and sat back down on his cot.

He tried to look casual.  He tried three positions before he settled on sitting on the cot, facing the bars, with his feet propped up in front of him.  He heard her footsteps coming down the corridor and averted his eyes just before she stopped in front of him.

“River!” he said in mock surprise looking at her.  “Whatever are you doing here?”  She looked beautiful, damn her.  She was dressed like a noble women of Ruleski.  She was wearing a long blue dress that clung to every curve with several scarves of jeweled toned silk wound around her in interesting ways.  The Doctor’s mouth went dry and one of his hearts stopped for just a second.    
“Hello, Sweetie,” River purred.  “Amy and Rory called me and told me that you had been imprisoned.  My my, what have you gotten yourself in to this time?”  She was even talking with the right high born accent and inflections.  _Damn her._

“I had things well in hand,” he said with a challenge in his voice. “I don’t know why they would bother you with this little situation.”

“Oh,” River said.  “Well in hand?  You are in a highly fortified military prison with a 120 year prison sentence hanging over you.  You are in the maximum security wing that even has blocks against any sort of teleportation around it.  I can’t imagine how you would get out, even if I had a time machine to come in and get you.”  River made a pointed look at the camera nearest her.  “Yes, it seems like you have things well in hand, indeed. Well, I have several things to do today so I'll just go…” she turned and started walking away.

“River, wait,” he said and he heard her stop. He didn’t look at her.  He knew the look that would be on her face.  On the outside she would look like the concerned noble woman, but her eyes would be full of smug satisfaction. _Damn her._ “How did you get in to see me?”

“As you know I am a very important woman.  I’m not sure what kind of trouble my best business manager has gotten himself in to, but when I explained that it was important that I see you in order to keep my assets safe, well, the officer in charge understood.”

He looked at her then with narrowed eyes.  “Your business manager?  You told them I worked for you? Like an employee?”  He didn’t know whether to be offended or hurt. 

“Yes, and I need the password to your computer so I can access my records and make sure you didn’t steal anything from me.”

Oh that woman. He was going to get her back for this.  She was going to pay, and pay dearly.  He had a quick vision of her naked, bent over his knee, getting the spanking she deserved.  He shook his head to clear the vision and quickly rattled off the coordinates to her Stormcage cell.  If she was going to tease him for being in prison, turnabout was fair play.  River smirked as she pretended to write them down and tuck them into her bag.  He leaned back and said, “Anything else you needed?”

River looked at the camera again and tried to look embarrassed, not something that was easy for River Song.  “Well Sweetie, actually I felt forced to admit to him that you were also my lover.  I told him that it would be nice of him and I would owe him a favor if he let me give you one last kiss goodbye.  I convinced him it was necessary that I see you alone so I could show you how much I would miss you, even if you are a horrible criminal.”  River turned her body and discretely moved one of the scarfs draped over her.  He saw that she had his sonic tucked into the top of her dress.

“Oh, my bad bad girl,” the Doctor said, standing up and casually walking over to her.  “Couldn’t go on with your life without one last kiss from me, hmmm?”

River rolled her eyes, but quickly said “Come over here, so I can show you how much I’ll miss you.”  When he got close enough, River grabbed his prison jumpsuit and pulled him to the bars.  She kissed him hungrily.  Her hands were everywhere she could reach through the bars.  He kissed her back, matching her hunger. Even though it was for show, he knew that he wasn't acting at all. He absolutely wanted her this much. His hands gripped her waist, eventually moving one hand up to squeeze her breast, or at least that’s what the guard watching the monitor thought, thinking _lucky bastard._

While they were kissing, River spoke directly into his mind.  “Guard change at 3:30am.  As soon as you hear the signal, get out of your cell and get outside.”  He didn’t need to ask the details.  He trusted her, completely.  When they parted, he put his hand on the side of her face and stroked her cheek with his thumb.  “If I forget to tell you later, thank you for coming,” he said softly, just for her. They heard the door open at the end of the corridor.  River gave him one more quick kiss and turned and walked down the hall.

“Oh, and River, I really like that dress,” he said watching her glorious bum walk down the hall.  River stopped and gave him a look over her shoulder that brought that image of her naked right back to his mind.  He chuckled and went back to his cot and stared at the ceiling again.  He did have a few hours to kill until the Calvary came at 3:30.   Why not spend it thinking about his naked wife?  

\------

At 3:30 am a large explosion rocked the prison. “Not a very subtle signal, Dear,” the Doctor thought as he soniced the lock on his cell. He made his way out of the maze of hallways and met the two Ponds in the prison yard, running toward the waiting TARDIS. He looked around and saw River standing a little way away and watching the fire. “Took out the power source to the electronic locks and shield, did you?” 

“Not bad, if I do say so myself,” River said, laughter dancing in her eyes.

He kissed her on the cheek took her hand. “No, not bad at all. Come along, Song. Run!”

**Author's Note:**

> http://tardistexan.tumblr.com/


End file.
